Random madness

"I see you smile and my heart melts. Every time your brush your hair back, my heart trips over itself. The sunlight on your hair makes me crazy. I have been your admirer for long. I know I should have expressed myself long gone. But whenever I spruce up my courage, I fill my heart with confidence and then I see you smile and it melts. I want to tell you a thousand things, want to express my feelings. But all I can think of is your smile. I want to tell you how much I care. No matter what happens it will stay. Sometimes I wonder if you are looking for me, I feel you thinking or remembering about me. Its very odd for a guy to feel a stare. But I cant stop wondering if you care. On those lonely long days, I wonder if you are alone, feeling lonely somewhere or is someone loving you. Its not jealously that I feel, I didn't lie when I said I care. I just want you to be happy, even if it is not with me. You know what to say, when and where. Am not so well versed...

"I love you, I really do. But seems like you would never fully believe it. I am so confused, how to convince you.  Romance doesn't start with eye contact and end with physical contact. Even though I don't tell you, I miss you when am away. Even though I never show you, I remember all your nuances. Maybe you didn't notice, but I mind even the small small comforts you desire. I may not be overtly romantic physically, but I cant stop myself from touching you even in passing. I may not stick to your side everywhere, but my eyes search you in a gathering. When  you smile that's morning, I cant leave home without hugging you. It matters to me if you don't like something. Even though I don't reply as much as you, I smile while messaging you.  I don't know to talk like you, I never express my feelings. But you are a self acclaimed romantic. Can't you read my action...

"Stop acting like a lost teenage girl high on harmones" ... His words haunting me again and again. "Did I really talk like that?" . I close my eyes to feel the morbid humiliation make my body cold inside out.  "Your emotions are suffocating me" I can hear his words again, as if he is standing near. I open my eyes to find myself alone.... and empty.  "Suffocating??!!! my care is suffocating!!"...  Nobody had every rejected my care, my love, my attentions. I am used to people craving for me. "Was I really over reacting like a teenage girl??" I could not answer my questions. "Maybe I was. Why would anybody tell me to love less??"  It doesn't make sense. The anguish and pain I was feeling in my heart was just escalating. My body felt ice cold. I opened my eyes to see nothing, I wrapped my hands around me to warm myself. But I shivered, shivered with pain and loneliness. "Can I not deal with emo...

This post has been published by me as a part of Blog-a-Ton 55 ; the fifty-fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with Rashmi Kumar , the author of Hooked, Lined and Single and Jyoti Arora , the author of Lemon Girl . . Saritha looked up towards the clear sky, there was not a speck of cloud just sparkling blue. She mumbled to herself "looks like it might rain" . Then she shouted looking towards the balcony "Ramya, bring down the clothes. Looks like it might rain" Ramya who was cleaning the balcony peeked up towards the sky to see clear beautiful blue, she frowned and shouted back "Its ok ma, it is still very sunny. Let the clothes dry" It was a typical saturday afternoon in Ramnath Rao's house. Saritha was in the kitchen clearing up the dishes, Ramya was cleaning some part of the house, Chintu was already down for the afternoon nap, Ramesh was working on his computer and Ra...

"I miss you.. Can I say that to you??   Maybe.!!!  But its not like we share confidences, hell sometimes we don't even get to say hi. We don't share secrets. Most of the times we react by just a smile. We never discuss unless you count innumerable unrelated view points we shared. We dodge the personal questions. We evade answering reasons. We never properly end the talk. Nor pick it up where we left off. There are lots of loose ends. We try to stay as unaffected as possible, but still there is something flowing between us. Which makes me miss you. Miss the broken talks. The ambiguous smiles and nods.  The unwanted discussions and unrelated topics. Miss the underlying tension in anticipating each other's response. The dumb acting when forced to reveal a hand. I miss you and that is where I stand. No other emotion plagues my mind. Am completely sane and sound. I miss you with no strings attached. You don't need to miss me am that detach...

How often we think... “I don’t know” or “I cant choose” or “you tell me”... Right then we are hit by a bout of confusion which rattles our self ego and questions us  and makes us think.... “What to do” “What to choose” etc.., May it be the colour of the saree you are choosing or planning a picnic or changing jobs. Confusion and self doubt plague the best of us in the moments of weakness and shakes the foundations of our belief. But people don’t fret, as a human being even in the stages of confusion where we don’t know what to choose, we most definitely are adamant as to what not to choose. “I don’t like brinjal” “I hate the taste of coffee” “I haven’t got the qualifications to do that” “I know that is not for me”..... we are so confident in the choices we won’t choose. But the best part is there are some things where we can choose without blinking our eyes. So even if you are not able to choose the course of your life, am sure you are able to choose your coffee. S...

Spring is the time, where you can see riot of colours everywhere. The sun will be smiling, the flowers dancing and there will be celebration everywhere. Spring which is also known as "Vasanth Ruthu" is the celebration of new life.