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Confessions of a confused soul - 5

"Nobody ever thought to explain how I will feel when I fall in love. Or maybe it is different for everybody!!! I wonder... 

I have loved people, my family, my friends, one of my ex-girlfriend, that first crush in school. But never felt this gut wrenching feeling of possession towards anybody. 

When did this happen?? How did this happen?? I never planned to fall in love with her, I doubt she ever tried to make me fall in love either. 

I wonder...Did I fall in love the first time I saw her under that tree in the busy street!!

Or was it when she smiled at me in that all-knowing-woman smile

Maybe it was the first time when she hugged me, felt like all soft and tenderness was wrapped up and was gifted to me. 

Or was it the first time she took care when I was ill, so much care and worry creased her face that I wanted to get well faster just so I can smooth out the lines on her forehead.

And then I wonder again... I cant discount the first kiss, when those soft beautiful lips touched mine.. I cant forget the electricity which passed through me. 

But it doesn't matter how and when I fell in love, what matters is "If" I have really fallen in love.

Does it feel like this all the time?? 

The possessiveness when am with her, to hold her and may stare down every guy nearby to claim my stake on her. 

The urge to give her every possible happiness even if it kills me. Feels like I can never get enough of her. Protect her to the point of smothering her. While I am so content just by being with her, listening to her, smelling her, touching her hand. And when i miss her I feel like someone's torn my guts out from my body. 

And when I think of her leaving me I feel a big empty hole just eating me from inside out. 

Huh... I wonder.. Am I irrevocably in love.??

Maybe I am :) 


  1. Beautifully explained or rather constructed that feel brick by brick.

    Love is a four letter word, but it fills the life or empties the doubt the love always starts with a light confusion or slight realisation.

    Nivi you are back again with one more fairy tale..

    Nice nice...and i would like to say again..nivi's speical on the horizon again..super


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