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Confessions of a confused soul - 6 - spring cleaning



There you are walking down the corridor. As if the world is under your feet. Am I included in the world ?... It doesn't matter now, is it?

We met, we bonded and then. And then we stagnated. We didn't move on, we didn't move forward, we didn't even back away or change course. We just stayed, decaying whatever we had between us. I have felt it turning putrid and rotten.

You who occupied a big corner office in my heart, just left it there to ruin away into haunted place. But then I thought it is my space, my heart, its my responsibility too to maintain it. Alas it's easier said than done. I stood outside it days and days, just willing myself to rebuild it. 

Finally it was you who gave me the push. And what a gift on my birthday you gave. While the whole world was wishing me with all the love, you couldn't find common courtesy to wish a fellow companion. May be I never occupied even a closet in your heart.

There was always a thread bonding me to you, tugging me towards you. I sat and hoped and expected you tugging at me. But you sniped it, now there is nothing between us. Just air.

But am not blaming you for not wishing, Am thanking you. Because if you had wished, hope would have sprouted, right in the middle of that rotten place. It would have dug its roots so deep and held on so tight. Now I don't have to worry about pulling out the roots of a beautiful relationship. 

As a matter of fact, I think I actually whistled while cleaning my heart, shed a few remaining tears, danced along the clean fresh heart and smiled a lot.

And there you are walking down towards me. As if the world is under your feet. I am not included in that world. Neither would I ever want to be. Thank you.

Comments

  1. Norm in trekking is..carry least possible items so the baggage will be lighter...but human mindset says...oh i need this, that and all...so we carry and wr suffer...

    But later on the trekking trail we realise we need to drop either the idea or the excess baggage...

    We endup discarding the excess baggage which is of no use to us..or it wont fit our path..

    Likewise some relationship ends abruptly for no reason.. Better put the memories in the pit and burry for ever..so the hopes of seed should not germinate from it.

    Beautiful explained in short sentences...words created a magic here...keep reading it new doors of understanding opens up...

    Nivi special after a long time...super nivi

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    Replies
    1. I couldnt have commented better myself :D

      Delete
  2. The thoughts, the worries, the aspirations and the disappointments...all..I stress all...vanish with one cool breez that softens the hardness in the heart..and thats life. Fantastic...very short but OMG very powerful story..Good one Nivi. After so many years..(?) I am seeing the blogs now...Good to see the Pals...of yester years.

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