Skip to main content

Confessions - 10 doors

She stood watching the door he had just closed walking out. For a moment nothing worked, her brain, her body, her mind, her conscience.. even her breath had stopped. Then she took a long breath and everything started at a time. The explosions in her mind, the devastation in heart, the thundering thoughts in her brain. All she could do was stare at the closed door. 

Pain pierced through her soul like a hot knife through a wound. She struggled to breath, all she wanted to do was howl at the fate which made her stand here and feel this horrible feeling. But she couldn't produce a sound, even call his name. To call him back to her. 

She collapsed on the floor as her knees buckled. Held her midriff in a embrace so tight. The coldness of the situation was settling there and spreading everywhere. And finally a tear broke the barriers and rolled down. 

The gush of tears which flowed down her cheeks were unnoticed, as her heart cried out. The edge of the pain dulled to a throbbing ache in her heart, it was only then did her brain register the underlying boiling stream of anger pulsing through. She looked up towards the door as if she will burn it on the spot. She got up with a gusto and threw whatever her hands could find. She just wanted to destroy everything he touched  just like he destroyed her moments ago. But even after ravaging the whole room it was still not close to what she felt. 

She wiped her tears steeling herself to feel no pain, convincing herself that he is not worth it and got about to cleaning the room and repairing the damage she had done as much as it was possible. And walked towards the doors to open it to a new light, to a new life.

He stood outside those doors of that cursed room, where just a moment before his life ended. For a long moment no sound came through it and he shoved his hands into his pockets. Just to stop himself from opening those doors and run back to her.

After what seemed like an eternity her sobs sailed through those doors and he let out his breath which he didn't know he was holding. Her sobs which seemed like it was wrenched out of her soul by filled his heart with darkness. He chided himself, cursed himself and vowed to never love again. But still he couldn't do the one thing he wanted to do. To hold her his arms and say sorry, beg her to take him back, naming him a fool to let her go.

He sat down on the floor beside the door and a tear tumbled down. He didn't know how long he sat there or what he would do if she picked that moment to come out. He half wished she would do just that and half wished she wouldn't.

After what seemed like an eternity he heard the bang. His first instinct was she has harmed herself. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her. He got up in a hurry and was about to open the doors, when he heard the crash and her angry cry. He pulled back his hands which were hovering on the door knob. 

He knew it was time, time to go. He knew now she will be fine because now she will hate him. He knew she will live and live happily because now she will not grieve. He stood their listening to her anger, listening to the wreck he caused to her. His head hung in shame, his heart chided him. But his mind stood strong in its decision and he knew he has to walk away. The crashes and bangs stopped as he walked away from her door. He opened the main door to go out of her life and to never return back, as he was about to close the door behind him, he turned back to look at her door one last time. And both the doors clicked at the same time. 

(Excerpt from a story I am working on)

Comments

  1. "She just wanted to destroy everything he touched just like he destroyed her moments ago"

    Superb lines..only the affected soul knows how much it was hurt by something,,

    The two faces of the situation..nicely etched...the feel..the pain..the warmth...everything is in a perfect package.

    There could be 100's of reasons for the sudden twist in their behavior...but the ill fates affection, emotions..no one can balance..

    It is stopped at crucial phase where either it can break or it can take a brake..beautiful CB yet again

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nivedita you have immense imagination weaving ability..nice writeup. Simply...simply... churning emotions...as I read through...I liked....the whole story!!! but these lines...made me..."Yes, this is Life, live it and leave it" fantastic rendering of emotions into wordful musical notes...Nivi. !!! She wiped her tears steeling herself to feel no pain, convincing herself that he is not worth it and got about to cleaning the room and repairing the damage she had done as much as it was possible. And walked towards the doors to open it to a new light, to a new life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. emotions Well presented... what could be the reason for this... am awaiting Nivs :) hope you tell us in the next episode or so :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautifully narrated DQ. Both of them have a story to tell...just awaiting for d flashback story..

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

IMHO - Blue mug epiphany

I have often heard, "our relationship is solid".. "Its so tight that it is impossible to break it" .. always made me wonder, "Really! solid? unbreakable???". And when I saw people being disappointed or hurt because something changed in the relationship, it made me question it. I know when we say solid, we relate it to strength and dependability of the relationship. Which makes us feel secure, safe. That this is one thing we can always count on. 
I accepted the premise and walked in the same road, but always wondered. You will ask why!.. because we human beings are dynamic, not static.. not stationary. Every moment of our life adds to the vast pool of experience which surely but subtly changes our state of mind, thinking and opinions. Oh there are some exceptions ofcourse, who never deviate from their beliefs, routines and opinions. But I think even they stay strong in their beliefs  or routines because every new knowledge is processed and discarded in favo…

Am fine...........

"Hi, friends, welcome to my story. Name is Sangeetha. This is the 143rd day of my hospitalization, am paralyzed from waist down and as far as the whispers go, I don't have much time left to finish paralyzing my whole .......... Sangeetha saw that her mother who was holding handycam was shedding tears silently... "Ma, what happened...???.... Ma, mamma, oh come on, don't cry......... Look at me mom... look am smiling, don't worry you will be fine.... " and she smiled at her mom encouraging her to do the same. When her mother gave the most insincere smile of the world, she said in a soothing voice.  "Okay, close the handycam and come sit by me. We will finish recording after sometime. Now you tell me the story of how you met dad again." Sujatha smiled back to her only daughter and she stopped recording, when she closed the screen the camera was blinking 7:43 a.m. Exactly One year later....................... at 7:43 a.m. Sujatha was standing near the kitche…

Crossroads

"Aaj mousam bada bemaan hi.. bada bemaan he aaj mousam.." Mohammed Rafi was singing melodiously in background when Sampreetha decided that she just can't do it anymore. She can't keep thinking about this and not reach a decision. The last few months of her life had been the worst, most intolerable time of her life.
She let out a sigh as she ran her hand through the hair of her young son sleeping on her lap, sleeping peacefully oblivious to the storm raging in his mother's heart. How would he know and how can he even imagine to understand the dilemma she was in as he never had to face the decision taken well before his birth.
It had been more than 6 years to the fact that his father Sandeep had left her after he came to know that she was pregnant. Sampreetha carefully slid out of the bed and tucked her son in before turning off the light and walking out of the room.
She settled down on her favourite armchair with the blackest coffee possible and asked the same qu…