Skip to main content

Confessions- jealousy

I have checked my phone 100,000 times now. Not a peep from you.

I wonder how busy you must be to not even check your phone. Last seen on whatsapp is 3 hours ago. I have never seen you not checking your phone every 10 minutes. 3 hours..... What are you talking so much with her that you are occupied for 3 hours.

Uff  Dee..... calm down dear heart I told myself. Don't beat so fast. Now matter how much you trouble the brain this gut wrenching anxiety won't go away.

But still 3 hours... No.. It's 3 hours 10 minutes now...

I bet she came in your favourite coloured dress. And no it doesn't matter that even she loves the same colour.....

 3 hours 22 minutes

Ohh maybe she has a new boyfriend and she is telling you about him. After all you are close friends.. With whom she will share if not you. You are a good friend.

But I hope not too "good" a friend.

No no.. Am sure you are just hanging out.

3 hours 30 minutes

Then why is it bothering me so much. You have told me you are meeting her. It's not that u lied or hid it from me.

Why is it am feeling so lost and helpless?

3 hours 37 minutes

You are still offline. You know that hollowness you felt when you thought I hurt myself... Am feeling like that but a 100,000 times more intensity.

I know what you will say to this.. How you will smile.... Hug me and console me... I know how you will also feel smug that am feeling like this....

3 hours 45 minutes

Stop it.. Are you crazy Dee... Distract yourself dear heart.Watch that show you missed yesterday.. Maybe read a book?!!!...

I will just make myself a cup of hot coffee and listen to music... Yes that's what I need... Distraction

Where are you??.. What are you doing? !!!!

3 hours 51 minutes

Dee... Have some self control... Don't you have any self respect... You are behaving like a fool now chided my reflection.

Look at my state.. Am talking with my reflection now. I know you will just laugh and say Dee you are crazy... Maybe I am


3 hours 59 minutes.....
 I watch as the minute hand edges towards the final lap of this hour....

While I consoled myself...Of course am crazy ... He is mine after all... And I know I am jealous... Why wouldn't I be.. He is mine afterall.

4 hours







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Silence

Silence was something she associated with very well. She was a calm, patient person from the moment she opened her eyes. Through family, schools and college, silence was something everybody expected of her. The major part of her small world was silent and she loved it. Married to a soft and calm guy, gave her leave to be silent further in her life. She loved her routine silent life and didn’t want to change a thing in it. Silence had a capacity to soothe her, it had a depth to allure her. Until one day.... Sadvi was feeling nauseous and tired that day, her health was her strong point. She was a very very healthy person and she worked well to keep it like that. But that day was different. She didn’t want to dwell on that so she took a leave and took rest. Felt happy that Sourav wanted to stay back to look after her, but she shooed him away and took rest. Her condition didn’t improve the next day or the next day or the next day. On the fourth day she finally decided to vi

Am fine...........

  " Hi, friends, welcome to my story. Name is Sangeetha. This is the 143rd day of my hospitalization, am paralyzed from waist down and as far as the whispers go, I don't have much time left to finish paralyzing my whole ..........   Sangeetha saw that her mother who was holding handycam was shedding tears silently...   "Ma, what happened...???.... Ma, mamma, oh come on, don't cry......... Look at me mom... look am smiling, don't worry you will be fine.... "   and she smiled at her mom encouraging her to do the same. When her mother gave the most insincere smile of the world, she said in a soothing voice.    "Okay, close the handycam and come sit by me. We will finish recording after sometime. Now you tell me the story of how you met dad again."   Sujatha smiled back to her only daughter and she stopped recording, when she closed the screen the camera was blinking 7:43 a.m.     Exactly One year later....................

New beginning

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 46 ; the forty-sixth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton . April 12 th The sound of the empty office was haunting. Pankaj sat there, in front of his laptop staring at the screen wallpaper. He had finished his work as usual at the normal office ending hours. But he was still there 3 hours later just staring at his laptop. He didn’t want to go home. Or to the place he had once called home. He remembered those days when he couldn’t stay a minute more than necessary in the office. The days where he lied to go early or to take a leave, just so he could spend time in his home. His happy, laughing home. Now neither there were any laughs nor any happiness left. Pankaj whirled around in his chair to stare out of the window. Guilt overlapped his every emotion and ate him alive every minute. He felt