Skip to main content

If Only............

It was a Friday evening, the start of the weekend. The weather was mellow, the winter was yet to begin. When Praful got a call from his boss, when he was enjoying the evening with beer and friends.
“Damn this guy, doesn’t give me a moment’s peace” said Praful then pressed the answer button
“Yes sir, ................ No sir, its ok tell me................ I have already sent the report sir......................
 Ronit sniggered and told Gaurav in whispered “Looks like somebody is boss’s pet”
Praful hung up the phone and took a long sip of his beer “ guys am telling you this guy is a huge bore... he just keeps repeating the same things over and over again........... I just wish that there was mute button to his mouth so that I can just turn off his sound whenever I want”
 Ronit and Gaurav laughed seeing the state of Praful’s state of frustration.
Ronit controlling his laugh looked at his friend’s face saying “Ok ok we are sorry for laughing, but you have to agree that this is funny... I mean come on mute button..... anyways if I were you I would wish for a delete button in life so that I can just delete all the people whom I don’t want with a single click rather than seeing them everyday”
 Everybody was stunned to see the change of tone in Ronit’s voice.
Gaurav while placing his hand on Ronit’s shoulder asked “bro, are you alright, what happened??”
Ronit giving a charming smile assured all “Nothing yaar, nothing at all”
“Well if I was wishing then I would wish for a whole software of Photoshop in my life so that I can change my outlook whenever I want...” said Gaurav, trying to bring the mood back to humour. And he winked at Ronit saying “And change others too”
Praful warming up to the humour now and letting go of his scowling mood added “Well in that way I wish that I could have an option of upgrading the people  ... like software upgrades with new versions... exactly like that new versions of people, where all the old unwanted traits can be removed... like Gaurav 2.0 and Ronit 3.2”
 Those three started putting up new ideas relating technological things they want in real life situations. When Gaurav spoke up “well no doubt this is all fun, but really guys I think that if ever all this happened, then there is nothing called as humanness, no emotions, no value for relations. I mean we would never work hard for anything at all, isn’t it?”
Ronit who was in playful mood, got up and bowed to Gaurav telling “Jai ho Gaurav baba”.
“Very funny Ronit, by the way Varun you haven’t spoken anything at all, what do you think of all this”
Three friends stared at their friend Varun, who hadn’t spoken at all till now.
Varun who was sprawling on the sofa sat up and told in a low but strong voice “Well I would like to have an UNDO button in my life.”
Everybody understood the implication and seriousness of this in Varun’s life. Nobody dared to make fun of it or talk. To hide the awkwardness, everybody picked up their beers and took a long long sip.
Ronit being Ronit changed the topic to some office humour and by the time the evening ended, everybody had moved on from the tense moment. Or so everybody thought.
 All four friends bid each other good night and with promise of meeting next week at same time same place and walked away towards their respective cars to drive back home.
As soon as they started their drive back, all of them had the same thought on their minds... If only they had an undo button.
Ronit who was the prankster among them, thought when he would have used that button, he knew exactly when and where he would use that button.
                He remembered the night he was so drunk and went home with that unknown strange woman. When he got up in the bed with her the next morning and saw his longtime girlfriend standing at the door with tears in her eyes, did he realize the mistake. Then he realized how much he loved her and how big a mistake he made by taking her for granted. When she left him, then he understood how empty his world is without her and he had no way to make it right again. If only he had an undo button he would have used it and got on one knee and begged her to marry him before he even thought about a mistake like that. Maybe then he would have been happy and not miserable like this.... If only....
Gaurav who was the most sensitive among them was also thinking, he also knew where he would have used that button.
                He had misunderstood a dear dear friend and behaved very badly with him. He had brought money between friends. He had opened a part time business with his old friend, with whom he had very good relations. But he didn’t know how to keep business and friendship separately. He had fought with his friend for money and when his friend had tried to convince the matter, he had accused him of stealing. That day not only that business ended, a friendship also lost life. Even today, thinking of that incident brought a gut wrenching feeling in Gaurav because when he had got his temper in control and checked the facts, he had realized that his friend was as he had known before, good and honest. If only he had an UNDO button... he might still had his friend and who knows maybe his part time business would have thrived to help both of them... if only......
 Praful who was the most cynical of them, was also in the same thought train, but in different compartment. But there was not a single incident where he could pinpoint to use that button, but he knew what would the consequences would have been if he had the option of that button. He knew when he had sucked up to his boss to show him that he was a better employee. When he had started not only doing office work but also personal work for him so that he can consider him in good light. And those actions were biting his back now. He was known as the boss’s pet and in more vulgar terms something else. He had lost all friendly contact with his colleagues because all of them thought he was a snitch. He was never invited for birthdays now nor had a share in office gossip. And the reward for all this was more work from his boss, not only company work but also his personal work. He had become a dog in the company, which was not his intention. He was now not noted for his work, creativity or intelligence. Whatever success he got, it was termed as the result of sucking up to his boss.  If only he had an UNDO button... he might still had his respect in the office and be acknowledged for his work ..... if only....
 Varun who was the most serious and matured person among them, knew what he wouldn’t have lost if he had that option. This was not the first time he had thought about it and this is definitely not going to be the last time. There wasn’t a minute in his day now where he didn’t regret living, where he didn’t regret that day.
                Varun had always been a busy man, very ambitious and very driven person. But he loved his wife and daughter to pieces. He had always known that she was his soul mate and he considered his daughter as a gift of god. That weekend he was supposed to travel to his in-laws place, where his wife and daughter had already gone to spend the holidays. He was supposed to enjoy the weekend with them and return with his wife and daughter. But then the client he was struggling to set up meeting with for months had agreed for a meet up on Monday morning. He had to travel till Hyderabad for the meeting. He had convinced his wife to catch a train and return home, he wanted to travel to Hyderabad a day early to get ready for his meeting. He had promised her that he would be home by the time she reaches home. He did reach home before her, because she never made it home. His wife and daughter had met with an accident on the way and he never saw them again. If only he had an UNDO button he would have still had his beautiful family with him ...... if only...........
All four of them reached home, changed and laid down on their beds mauling over these things and reached to switch off the lights. Let out a big sigh and thought.... If only..............


  1. Yeah!!!! An undo button so necessary, but alas, life doesn't give a second chance...

    1. I agree with you.. we need a second chance.. if not third, fourth or fifth :D

  2. A two letter word "if" is so small...but it can cover the whole "world" or rather universe with great aplomb. All the four people thinking about the past, and a regretting thoughts were really heart touching. Kudos Nivedita..yet at again you are at the bulls eye of the emotions.

  3. Very nicely scripted post about varied emotions. One's action does have impact on their lives;some good and some bad and given a chance i am sure most people would want whole lots of buttons, :) I for one would surely love to have the undo button but then it is just wishful thinking.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words :) i agree with you.. i sure want a undo button, maybe even a upgrade option :D


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

IMHO - Blue mug epiphany

I have often heard, "our relationship is solid".. "Its so tight that it is impossible to break it" .. always made me wonder, "Really! solid? unbreakable???". And when I saw people being disappointed or hurt because something changed in the relationship, it made me question it. I know when we say solid, we relate it to strength and dependability of the relationship. Which makes us feel secure, safe. That this is one thing we can always count on. 
I accepted the premise and walked in the same road, but always wondered. You will ask why!.. because we human beings are dynamic, not static.. not stationary. Every moment of our life adds to the vast pool of experience which surely but subtly changes our state of mind, thinking and opinions. Oh there are some exceptions ofcourse, who never deviate from their beliefs, routines and opinions. But I think even they stay strong in their beliefs  or routines because every new knowledge is processed and discarded in favo…


"Aaj mousam bada bemaan hi.. bada bemaan he aaj mousam.." Mohammed Rafi was singing melodiously in background when Sampreetha decided that she just can't do it anymore. She can't keep thinking about this and not reach a decision. The last few months of her life had been the worst, most intolerable time of her life.
She let out a sigh as she ran her hand through the hair of her young son sleeping on her lap, sleeping peacefully oblivious to the storm raging in his mother's heart. How would he know and how can he even imagine to understand the dilemma she was in as he never had to face the decision taken well before his birth.
It had been more than 6 years to the fact that his father Sandeep had left her after he came to know that she was pregnant. Sampreetha carefully slid out of the bed and tucked her son in before turning off the light and walking out of the room.
She settled down on her favourite armchair with the blackest coffee possible and asked the same qu…

My brother

“Rohan, Rohit......... come and drink your milk?” Sushila was screaming at the top of her voice, when she heard the sounds of 2 pair of feet running down the stairs. Now if she thought at this moment that her 15 year old and 13 year old are running to drink the "delicious" milk which she prepared for them, then she couldn’t have been more wrong. But as she knew them inside out she knew they were not running down to drink milk. Which meant only one thing, that their dad Sushant was home. And today they were so eager to meet their daddy dear because he had called in the noon and said he had a surprise for them.
Sushant got down from the car  and looked up to see his sons standing in the doorway with eager eyes. He was smiling to them when he approached, but with every step he took towards them, their smile seemed to fade away and eyes were searching him. Even though he looked like he didn’t get them the surprise he mentioned, but he did. He gave the keys to his elder son Rohan…