Random madness

His This, this moment is the best time of my life. If there was a god above and he decided that today at this moment I will take my last breath. I am happy to do that. I know you don’t know this, maybe you won’t even notice it. And maybe future has more beautiful moments for me. But this moment, right now is the best till now. You sitting there on the ledge, full moon to your back, the roar of the waters in the background, me standing here with a plate full of love and feeding you dinner. You are telling a story, I may never remember that in future. Because I will remember all the other details of the night. Your swinging legs which are bumping into me, your sparkling eyes looking at me, the naughty smile on your lips when you see me smile, the fragrance of you enveloping me in your magic and most of all the childlike quality with which you are eating from my hands and the amazing feel in my heart when am feeding you with my hands. I don’t know why you asked m...

Google images Journal entry - 372 I wonder what power he holds on me. I could never stop his arrival or his departure. He breaks my heart everytime and I swear I will never let him ... Everytime. He comes when he wants, when he feels lonely. I asked him "Did you miss me?" and he replies "Once someone is yours, you will always  miss them"... I smiled within myself, only to notice later he never answered my question. He has an alluring charm that I can't escape and to make matters worse when he is here I don't want to escape. And if you think for a moment that he pampers me and spoils me crazy while he is visiting. You can't be more wrong while I rectify you that he never opens his heart enough to show it to me.  Oh he cares, I know he does, atleast I feel he does. Is that the only thread am holding onto??  I wonder how will he respond if he reads this. But then again I know how he will respond, he would say "everything is ...

She stood watching the door he had just closed walking out. For a moment nothing worked, her brain, her body, her mind, her conscience.. even her breath had stopped. Then she took a long breath and everything started at a time. The explosions in her mind, the devastation in heart, the thundering thoughts in her brain. All she could do was stare at the closed door.  Pain pierced through her soul like a hot knife through a wound. She struggled to breath, all she wanted to do was howl at the fate which made her stand here and feel this horrible feeling. But she couldn't produce a sound, even call his name. To call him back to her.  She collapsed on the floor as her knees buckled. Held her midriff in a embrace so tight. The coldness of the situation was settling there and spreading everywhere. And finally a tear broke the barriers and rolled down.  The gush of tears which flowed down her cheeks were unnoticed, as her heart cried out. The edge of the pain dulle...

It was a mild evening with light breeze, the clouds were threatening a rainy night. And as usual Rakshith and Vani were seated at their favourite coffee shop, at their usual timings, having their usual cup of coffee and unwinding after a long day at work. Neither ever found to fill up all the silence with chattering they were as comfortable with silence as with words. Sometimes they preferred silence more than words. It was jolt from a silent pondering when Rakshith's phone pinged. He smiled apologetically while he looked at his message. As usual after checking his message he scrolled his facebook timeline and chuckled. Vani as usual knew he would do what he did and asked, "Who said what?" He set his phone down and said, somebody has asked a question "What do you mean by "best friend"? She smiled while sipping at her cup, both enjoying the companiable silence and the hot cuppa in hand. As was their habit, today was her turn to pa...

Where are my keys.... hmmm.. I had kept it in my purse I remember it ... well I can never get anything I am searching for ... its fate... I just.... Rachana's monologue trailed of as a memory for past just pushed itself to gain her attention. "You are always losing things.. Its because you just don't focus on one thing... you are doing this, seeing that and thinking something else... " She shook her head and snapped herself out of that memory. She didn't have time to dwell on it like usually she would love to do. The sky was overcast and she had to finish her weekly shopping and reach home before it started pouring. "Forget the keys I will find it later... But why am I remembering him?!!!" "Because you miss him"... Rachana wondered where did the voice come from. She turned in a circle standing in the grains aisle of the supermarket. "My crazy imagination" "Its not your imagination that is crazy, its yo...

You just wont believe that I will stay, that I will be there. You just wont believe that our commitment towards each other is nothing less than any "in-love" couple. So to make you understand what you are for me. I would like to get down on one knee and say this. "The first time we met, I thought you are snob. Thinks so mighty of oneself that we are all not noticeable. But then you smiled at me. That sweet smile made me just levitate towards you. I had no choice but to become attached to you, that is your magnetism. So today I propose to love you, care for you till time turns grey. I will be brutally honest with you and lie to appease you as the time chooses. I will always protect you, always save you from unsavory encounters and people. I will be extremely loyal to you even when we are not together. I will love you even when I hate you and will always leave a way to come back to each other. When you find your love, I will fight the world with you and support y...

There is a line which is unexpressed but never to be crossed. Every relationship is defined by certain limits, certain untold unexpressed rules.  You have taken the liberty to cross that many times. But rather than blaming you, I just think I let you cross that line. In a wrong conception that you are being honest with me. That better a honest hurt than a sugarcoated lie.  But still I am person, person who has emotions, who feels, who loves, who cares and who is hurt. You didn't take that into consideration when you said what you said and did what you did. You took a beautiful emotion, a heartfelt affection and ridiculed it. I wonder sometimes what made me forgive you all those times when you insulted it, insulted me. Was I so blind to your cruelty ??? Me, who always saw the logic of everything.. How could I not see the logic of staying away from you the first time you humiliated my person. Then I wonder, maybe am not that practical, maybe its a good ...