Skip to main content

Grief

 Pic Courtesy: Google images
 
Oh.. my head hurts.. no not only my head, everything hurts. I dont want to open my eyes, its peaceful like this. Who is that talking ? is it mom ???
 
"What do you mean by you dont know doctor, she has been like this from yesterday, whats wrong with her??"
 
"I am sorry Mrs.Sharma, but physically there is nothing wrong with her, as i said she is under mental shock"
 
Shock??? what are they talking about ?? and about whom??? Oh my head hurts, no, my everything hurts, i dont want to hear anymore, too much of noise. I will just close my eyes now.  But I never opened them, did I??
 
Its so dark in here, so cold, if only i could find a warm corner, i will just sleep for some time. But where am I?? Didnt i just hear mom talking with somebody??
 
Oh i dont care, i want to sleep now thats all. There, now i feel good, i will just sleep ........
 
"Anu, Anu, sweetie please get up, ... Anu"
 
Oh who is that calling me now?? Didnt I just sleep now, why is everybody disturbing me...
 
Anu... Oh dear, what will i do, its been 3 days and she hasnt even stirred....
 
Mom?? what is she talking about... Where is this place, its so dark, I cant see anything here.
Why am i here?? Oh my body hurts, actually no only my chest hurts and my head, oh my legs feel like lead..
 
Am i trapped somewhere??? Where is this place.. Didnt I hear mom just now. Why cant i hear her now?? There is not even a beam of light here. How did i even get here, Oh my head is splitting, I cant remember anything. Wait something had happened isnt it.. What is it? Oh the pain i cant bear it anymore, I need to rest somemore, I will just crawl up here.
 
"Anu, Anu, can you hear me. If you can, just press my hand."
"She is definetely in a shock Mrs. Sharma"
"Is she is some kind of coma??"
"Well lets say that when a person cant handle something, the mind finds a way to do it, and in case of Anu, she is like in a self induced coma, her mind has found this way to save her from the trauma, its self defense"
"Oh is she ever going to be alright"
"Hard to say Mrs. Sharma, lets not lose hope"
 
Who is that talking? Why cant people just leave me alone?  I just want to be here, its very peaceful here... But why am i here?? Why did i come here?? and How did i come here?? Where is this "Here"?? Ah so many questions, wait i was remembering something, what had happened, I think I slept for too long, I will just get up now, I have so much to do today....
 
Today?? by the way what day is it?? Monday?? no no, i remember the meeting i attended on monday. Wednesday?? ah maybe, but i dont know. Oh I have that important presentation on Wednesday afternoon. Isnt it?? Why cant i remember anything properly. I think I better get up. But my head, why is it hurting so much. Whatever, i will just ask mom to make me her special masala tea, it will help me.
 
Oh my eyes are feeling so heavy, like there are weights on my eyelids.
 
"Anu, Anu, sweetie, can you hear me, come on dear, ...
"Ah..."
"Oh, Anu, i was so worried, i was so worried. Wait let me call the doctor... Champa sit with anu, i will come in seconds"
 
Ah... What is this, Why am  I lying like this, Why are all these needles sticking in my arm. Was i sick or something?? Oh my throat feels so sore, like i havent talked in days now. Why is mom calling the doctor?? Ah i cant even think anymore.
 
"Anu, Anu dont drift off again, dont you quit on me again, the doctor will be here any minute sweetheart.
 
Anu smiles and looks at her mom like seeing her after a long time.
 
Something is changed, something is  missing, but what???
 
 
"Doctor, Anu has opened her eyes, she smiled at me, Oh please check her and tell me i got my daughter back."
 
"Relax Mrs.Sharma, she is awake and smiled, which is a good sign. Anu, Hi am Dr. Stephan, how are you feeling now??"
 
Anu clears her throat but still cant speak properly, in a low voice she tries talking...
 
"I dont know doctor, my head hurts, and i am feeling very tired"
 
Dr.Stephan smiles, "but you are awake and talking, thats good, now i will just do some routine tests, please bear with me"
 
After checking that Anu's vital signs and body functions are normal, Dr.Stephan leaves, giving Mrs.Sharma a warning "Let her take it slow"
 
Two days after this, Anu recovers enough for the questions to return to her mind. And finally asks her mother.
 
"Mom, what happened?? Why am i like this.. and most of all where is dad???
 
With a surprised look Mrs. Sharma asks her only daughter "Anu, sweetie dont you remember anything???"
 
"Remember what mom??"
 
"The phone call, the accident, about dad??"
 
"What are you............ Oh no, oh no no no no...."
 
All the images comes back swirling in her mind.....
 
On Tuesday evening, She got a phone call that her dad met with an accident while driving back home. After that, oh after that she had rushed to the hospital only to discover that he expired just minutes before she arrived, she didnt even get a chance to say good bye. After that, all the images were blurry, she vaguely remembered the funeral, she remembered sitting alone in a corner, not shedding a single drop of tear, and people, lots of people around her talking something.
 
After that ??? She looked at her mom's face, tears streaming down her face.
 
"You lost consiciousness just after the funeral, you were in shock, maybe thats why you didnt cry at all and when your mind couldnt handle the grief, you went into like a self induced coma for a whole week" "I thought i lost everything, first your dad, and then you"
 
Anu hugs her mom and bursts out crying....
 
Just then Dr.Stephan enters and sees the two women sharing grief and thinks to himself, "now, everything is going to be fine" and smiles.
 

Comments

  1. Nivi...This hurts hurts a lot...
    I know how Anu has got back to her feet strengthened her wings and is flying today... its the moment with everyone has to cross successfully!!!

    Very very well narrated Nivi,,, you are doing very good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ramya.. am glad you liked it... :)

      Delete
    2. By the way ramya, check out my entry for the Soak No More competition at http://randammadness.blogspot.in/2012/08/happiness-is-waiting-soak-no-more.html.. would love to know your thoughts

      Delete
  2. Liked your story and style of narration.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for reading.. glad you enjoyed.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice plot..just a few capitalizations needed here and there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for noting.. will surely proof read again.. thanks for reading :)

      Delete
  5. My eye lids filled..instantly when I read "sees the two women sharing grief and thinks to himself, "now, everything is going to be fine" and smiles"
    Nerrative style can do a lot and equally balancing words can spell wonders...
    Nice write-up Nivedita... Keep itup.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my god..!!! my eyes filled.. nice write-up :))

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nivedita..A Stunning tale told very nicely..and effectively. A Water in a bowl, drop lets in the cloud, grief in the heart should not be there for longer time..this concept conveyed effectively.. Hats off..Superb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) glad you enjoyed reading it..

      Delete
  8. ive seen a girl like Anu, in the same condition. the post just brought back memories, and tear drops!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am very sorry hear that .. hope she coped up fast

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A humble plea to bullet riders - From a drooling onlooker

Till today I haven't encountered a person who is not impressed by Bullet. The "dug dug dug" sound like beat of a thunderous drums creates an amazing illusion of an impressive rider on the amazing beast.  Before I let you on to my plea let me tell you a bit about the beast you ride with pride. Way back in 1955 The Indian Government looked for a suitable motorcycle for its police and army for patrolling the country's border. The Royal Enfield Bullet was chosen as the most suitable bike for the job. 
You are riding a bike used in many military operations and even in WW II. So please hear a plea of a humble drooling onlooker before you ride on in your pride.
Every bullet rider might not be a bike enthusiast but every biker is a bullet enthusiast. And also every onlooker who gives you a look while you drive with that patented "potato potato" sound blasting through your bike. 
By a unconscious consensus there are certain etiquette you have to follow if you are riding…

IMHO - Blue mug epiphany

I have often heard, "our relationship is solid".. "Its so tight that it is impossible to break it" .. always made me wonder, "Really! solid? unbreakable???". And when I saw people being disappointed or hurt because something changed in the relationship, it made me question it. I know when we say solid, we relate it to strength and dependability of the relationship. Which makes us feel secure, safe. That this is one thing we can always count on. 
I accepted the premise and walked in the same road, but always wondered. You will ask why!.. because we human beings are dynamic, not static.. not stationary. Every moment of our life adds to the vast pool of experience which surely but subtly changes our state of mind, thinking and opinions. Oh there are some exceptions ofcourse, who never deviate from their beliefs, routines and opinions. But I think even they stay strong in their beliefs  or routines because every new knowledge is processed and discarded in favo…

Confessions 13 - Selfish

Did you ever imagine what happens when someone you love dies. When you realize that the warmth of their body will seep away before you held them one last time, the light in their eyes fade away before you saw them smiling for the last time, the beat of their heart will stop before you feel its vibration beneath your hand for that last time.
You knew it would happen someday, I knew it would happen someday .. But I never thought it will happen to us on that day, at that moment. Time being time was cruel enough to not let me even get a good bye before you left, but time being time was also kind enough to not let you suffer in pain.
It took me days to finally utter a word, months to finally breathe without pain, infinite time to spend a moment without a tear. All my energy was spent in convincing the kind offers of companionship that was not needed. After all am an independent person with a strong determined soul. I should be able to shoulder my own pain. Isn't it??!! Or so I thought…